First of all I love you. I love you for your strength and your resilience. You have weathered so many storms with such gracefulness. I love how you have always managed to keep your smile even on days where it took the last bit of strength to. I love how you have managed to stay focused on the dream and how you have to be the best of your abilities, putting in the work.
I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t assure you of my love from the word go. I’m sorry that I was so timid it scaled down the dream. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the confidence and I silenced your voice. My fear of God knows what limited you and I let myself hate you for it. I should have told you from the onset not to strive for perfection but to pursue things that set your soul on fire. I allowed you to be so afraid of failure that you didn’t even try. There is so much I wish you could have done different, or just attempted.
While I Look back with pain at what I never let you go for, I am also proud that you made these mistakes when you were younger. That as a result you’ve learnt a greater lesson and will never stop at anything to discover yourself.
I have learnt now that we are made of star dust and all things magic. I have learnt that we can become anything we want as long as we set our heart on it.
Dear 14 year old me: I am going to make you a proud black woman. Maybe not today, but I know that I will. Just keep pushing, because that day depends on how you choose to correct your mistakes and make up for all the time and things you chose not to do just so you could stay safe. Safe from error and judgement.
I love you Cupcake, and I’ll love you forever.
Love,
24 year old you
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