Sometimes you act as if I am not your daughter. Not just at home but in public too. Like somehow because I am a girl, I am not the point of your pride. It doesn’t seem to matter much that unlike Senzo, I didn’t make the choice to have sex and have a child while still a student. I was thirteen baba. Barely blooming, and you, my very own biological father forced himself on me in my late mother’s matrimonial bed. You did not just impregnate me, but you infected me. Your own daughter. You made me choose, the streets or silence because I don’t matter. You knew very well that I had no one, nowhere to go and that I would stay, and let you continue to disrespect my innocent body whenever it pleased you.
You made it your goal to continuously remind me that I am nothing but trash. Good for nothing except to feed your uncontrolled sexual appetite. You would think that your cruelty has a limit. Like somehow my tears would make you realize just how much you were destroying me. But no! You are and will always be an animal. Only an animal would violate his own daughter, and allow his son to do the same without fluttering an eyelid. You are a devil, but I guess it’s nothing new. You see it in the mirror every single day of your life. I wonder why it hasn’t choked you to your death yet. You don’t deserve to live!
Maybe you don’t see it. How evidently true it is that the apple does not fall too far from the tree. I honestly have never understood how you can be so proud of him despite his having denied three pregnancies. Regardless of the two rape allegations to his name at age 23, you still treat him like royalty. Fruit of your loins, a replica of your monstrous self. No wonder you take pride. If you think yourself a good man filthy as you are, it’s easy to see that you see good in your equally filthy son. I feel for Amanda. Taking her life so young because Senzo in all the unquestionable guilt was bribed out of police custody by his dearest father. She was so young yet he didn’t care. The same way you failed to recognize that all I needed from you was that you protect me, from yourself. Amanda was just 11. An intelligent girl. A beautiful girl that deserved to be respected.
I don’t even know why I even considered the idea of a Senzo that respects girls. I mean, respect isn’t something that was ever served by a man where he grew up. Growing up in a home where his father disrespected his mother all the time, and later his sister, I suppose it became natural to think that this is how life is designed. That a man or a boy is entitled to the body of any woman, and to call her whatever his mind desires. You are a failure Mntungwa I pray that my daughter never grows up to believe that this kind of monstrosity from men is okay. I am doing this for her. I would rather spend my whole life in prison than live to see you or Senzo violate my baby a second time. This is where it stops!
I don’t even know why I even considered the idea of a Senzo that respects girls. I mean, respect isn’t something that was ever served by a man where he grew up.
I wonder if either of you managed to read this to the end before that poison squeezed the last breath out of you. You should have asked yourselves why I would cook you such a generously pleasant meal on the Monday after finding out that you both ganged up and raped my daughter. But no, you lived in this bubble where you thought you are invincible. Well clearly you are not…..!
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